Learning the Lingo – 110 Word to Know

So your relationship and you’re ready to start playing with the concept of consensual non-monogamy and sexual activities with others, but like most cliques, the landscape comes with its own jargon and sayings. Here is a surely incomplete list of keywords that you should know and familiarize yourself with.

1. Swinging: Engaging in social and sexual activities with multiple partners outside of a committed relationship, with the full knowledge and consent of all involved.
2. Cuckolding: A fetish where an individual, typically the male in a heterosexual relationship, derives pleasure from watching their partner engage sexually with others.
3. Hotwifing: Similar to cuckolding, but with a focus on the male partner’s pride in his wife’s sexual attractiveness and adventures with other men.
4. Stag and Vixen: A dynamic where the male partner (the stag) enjoys watching or knowing about his female partner’s (the vixen’s) sexual encounters with others.
5. Bull: A term often used in cuckoldry and hotwifing to describe the man who has sexual relations with the female partner, typically with the cuckold’s consent and sometimes in his presence.
6. Unicorn: A bisexual female who is open to joining a couple for a threesome or polyamorous relationship, without causing emotional turmoil or jealously.
7. Soft Swap: Engaging in sexual activities with another couple or individual that does not include penetrative sex.
8. Full Swap: Engaging in sexual activities with another couple or individual that includes penetrative sex.
9. Play: A general term for sexual activity within the lifestyle, such as “to play” with someone or a couple.
10. Lifestyle (LS): A euphemism for the swinging community and the activities associated with it.
11. Vanilla: A term used by individuals in the lifestyle to describe those who do not participate in swinging or non-monogamous relationships.
12. Compersion: The feeling of joy or pleasure one experiences when their partner is sexually or emotionally satisfied by another person.
13. Polyamory: The practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships with the consent and knowledge of all parties involved.
14. Open Relationship: A relationship where partners agree to engage in sexual activities with others outside the relationship.
15. Ethical Non-Monogamy: Any form of non-monogamous relationship that is conducted with the full awareness and consent of all parties involved.
16. Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM): An umbrella term for various forms of non-monogamous relationships where all participants agree to the arrangement.
17. Swinger Party: A social gathering organized specifically for swingers to meet and potentially engage in sexual activities.
18. Club/Venue: A physical location, such as a club or resort, that caters to the swinging community, offering a safe and private space for lifestyle activities.
19. Meet and Greet: An event or gathering where swingers can meet potential play partners in a non-sexual, social setting.
20. Hard Limit: An activity or boundary that a participant is not willing to cross under any circumstances.
21. Soft Limit: An activity that a participant is hesitant about but may consider under certain conditions.
22. Negotiation: The process of discussing and setting boundaries, limits, and expectations within a non-monogamous relationship.
23. Aftercare: The time and attention given to partners after a sexual encounter, particularly important in BDSM and cuckoldry to ensure emotional well-being.
24. NRE (New Relationship Energy): The excitement and intense attraction that can accompany the beginning stages of a new relationship or sexual connection.
25. Fluid Bonding: Agreeing to have unprotected sex within a non-monogamous relationship, often after thorough discussion and STI testing.
26. STI/STD Check: Getting tested for sexually transmitted infections or diseases to ensure sexual safety within the lifestyle.
27. Voyeur: An individual who derives pleasure from watching others engage in sexual activities.
28. Exhibitionist: An individual who enjoys being watched by others during sexual activities.
29. BDSM: An acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism, which can overlap with the swinging lifestyle.
30. Munch: A social gathering for individuals interested in BDSM and other kink-related activities, often held in a public venue.
31. Threesome: A sexual encounter involving three people at the same time, which can include various combinations of genders and orientations.
32. MMF: A threesome involving two men and one woman.
33. FMF or FFF: A threesome involving two women and one man, often referred to as a “devil’s threesome” if all three participants are engaging sexually with each other.
34. Quad: A foursome, typically involving two couples, who engage in sexual activities together.
35. Hall Pass: An agreement between partners that allows one or both of them to have a sexual encounter with someone else outside the relationship, usually as a one-time event.
36. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT): An arrangement where partners allow each other to have external sexual relationships without discussing the details, often to avoid jealousy.
37. Solo Polyamory: Engaging in multiple romantic or sexual relationships without wanting to merge lives or form a primary couple.
38. Relationship Anarchy (RA): A philosophy that rejects the idea of prescribed relationship rules or structures, emphasizing personal autonomy and the prioritization of relationships on a case-by-case basis.
39. Metamour: A partner’s partner; for example, if you are in a relationship with someone who is also in a relationship with another person, that other person is your metamour.
40. Nesting Partner: A term used in polyamorous relationships to describe a person’s primary live-in partner, with whom they share a home and possibly finances or children.
41. Comet: A person who comes in and out of your life like a comet, often used in polyamorous communities to describe a relationship that is intense but not always consistent or regular.
42. Sexual Marketplace (SMP): A conceptual space where individuals present themselves to potential sexual or romantic partners, often used in discussions about dating and relationship dynamics.
43. Lifestyle (LS) Event: An organized event for members of the swinging community to socialize, meet new people, and potentially engage in sexual activities.
44. Consent: The freely given, enthusiastic, and informed agreement to participate in a sexual or intimate activity.
45. Non-Hierarchical Polyamory: A form of polyamory where the partners involved do not adhere to a hierarchy of relationships (i.e., primary, secondary, etc.).
46. Sapiosexual: A person who is sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind before physical appearance.
47. Kink: Unconventional sexual preferences, fantasies, or practices; often enjoyed within the swinging and non-monogamous communities but not exclusive to them.
48. Fetish: A sexual fixation on a nonliving object or non-genital body part, which can be incorporated into the swinging lifestyle.
49. After Party: A social or sexual gathering that occurs after a larger event, often more intimate and exclusive.
50. Pre-Negotiation: Discussions that take place before sexual or play activities to establish boundaries, safe words, and consent.
51. Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK): A principle that emphasizes informed consent and personal responsibility of potential risk due to the specific kink. Such as bruising during BDSM or accidental pregnancy.
52. Safe Word: A code word or signal used to communicate that a sexual or BDSM activity needs to stop immediately.
53. Sex-Positive: An attitude or approach that advocates for sexual health and the promotion of sexuality as a natural and positive aspect of human life.
54. Scooping: When a couple tries to find a single person to join them for a threesome, often without considering the single person’s feelings or autonomy.
55. One-Penis Policy (OPP): A rule within some non-monogamous relationships where a man is allowed to have multiple female partners, but the female partners are not allowed to have sex with other men.
56. One-Vagina Policy: Similar to OPP, but the genders are reversed, where a woman is allowed to have multiple male partners, but the male partners are not allowed to have sex with other women.
57. Primary/Secondary Relationships: A structure within polyamory where one relationship is considered the “primary” partnership, often with a shared life and responsibilities, while other relationships are considered “secondary” and may not involve the same level of commitment or integration.
58. Relationship Escalator: The traditional societal model of relationships that assumes a progression from dating to exclusivity, cohabitation, marriage, and children.
59. Solo Poly: Short for solo polyamory, where an individual has multiple intimate relationships but prioritizes autonomy and independence over coupling.
60. Triad: A polyamorous relationship involving three people who are all romantically and/or sexually involved with each other.
61. Cuckquean: The female counterpart to a cuckold; a woman who takes pleasure in her partner having sexual relations with others, often with an emphasis on her enjoying the emotional dynamics involved.
62. Alpha Male: A term used in cuckold fantasies to describe the dominant man (the “bull”) who has sex with the cuckold’s partner, embodying traits that are perceived as confident, strong, and virile.
63. Beta Male: A term used to describe the cuckold himself, often seen as more submissive or less dominant than the alpha male, and who may derive satisfaction from his partner’s sexual encounters with more dominant males.
64. Interracial Cuckolding: A specific cuckold fantasy where the attraction and dynamics are intensified by racial differences, often involving stereotypes and fetishization.
65. Chastity: The practice of abstaining from sexual intercourse, which can be part of a cuckold dynamic where the cuckold is denied sexual release or kept in a chastity device.
66. Humiliation Play: A consensual activity where one partner, often the cuckold, receives verbal or psychological humiliation related to their partner’s sexual activities with others.
67. Creampie: In cuckold pornography or fantasies, this term refers to the visible evidence of a bull’s ejaculation inside the cuckold’s partner, often emphasizing the cuckold’s submission and the bull’s dominance.
68. Cuckold Fantasy: A common sexual fantasy where an individual (usually male) imagines their partner having sex with someone else, often with the fantasist being present or aware of the encounter.
69. BBC (Big Black Cock): A term often used in cuckold fantasies that fetishizes well-endowed black men as sex partners for the cuckold’s wife or girlfriend.
70. Sissy Cuckold: A sub-genre where the cuckold assumes a more submissive, sometimes feminized role, which may include cross-dressing or engaging in activities traditionally associated with women.
71. Forced Cuckold: A fantasy scenario where the cuckold is “forced” by his partner or circumstances to witness or be aware of her sexual activities with other men, though this is typically role-play and consensual.
72. Cuckold Captions: A genre of erotic writing or imagery where a narrative is provided, often involving cuckold themes, to accompany pornographic images or videos.
73. Femdom Cuckolding: A dynamic where the woman in the relationship takes on a dominant role, controlling the cuckold’s experiences and interactions with her lovers.
74. Bull Worship: A cuckold’s admiration and idolization of the bull, often involving the cuckold expressing reverence for the bull’s sexual prowess and attributes.
75. Cuckoldress: A woman who enjoys having sex with men other than her partner, with the full knowledge and often at the urging of her cuckold partner.
76. Erotic Torment: The emotional and psychological state of arousal mixed with anxiety, jealousy, or inadequacy that some cuckolds experience while knowing their partner is with another man.
77. Fluid Bonding: In cuckoldry, this can refer to the cuckold’s partner forming a sexual connection with another man that may include unprotected sex, which is often a significant emotional component of the cuckold experience.
78. Mandingo Fetish: Similar to BBC, this term refers to a white couple’s fetishization of black men as sexual partners for the woman, often rooted in racial stereotypes.
79. Post-Coital Cuddling: After the sexual act between the cuckold’s partner and the bull, the cuckold may engage in affectionate activities such as cuddling with his partner, which can reinforce emotional intimacy despite the sexual non-monogamy.
80. Trophy Cuckold: A dynamic where the cuckold takes pride in his partner’s sexual conquests, viewing her as a prize or trophy won by more dominant men.
81. Voyeuristic Cuckold: A cuckold who derives sexual pleasure primarily from watching his partner engage sexually with other men, without necessarily participating himself.
82. Cuckold Cleanup: A specific act within cuckoldry where the cuckold is involved in post-sexual activity cleanup, such as orally pleasuring his partner after she has had sex with another man, often reinforcing his submissive role.
83. Denial Play: A form of power exchange where the cuckold is denied sexual release, often while being teased or made to observe his partner’s sexual satisfaction with others.
84. Cuckold Tutelage: A scenario where the cuckold is taught or instructed by his partner or the bull on how to better please his partner, often highlighting his perceived inadequacies.
85. Cuckold Stag: A term that can be used to describe the cuckold himself, emphasizing his role as the watchful or humiliated husband while his partner (the vixen) engages with other men.
86. Hotwife Chaperone: The husband or male partner who accompanies his hotwife when she meets with her partners, ensuring her safety and sometimes deriving voyeuristic pleasure from watching.
87. Alpha Widow: A term used within the hotwifing community to describe a woman who has had such a powerful sexual experience with a dominant partner (an “alpha”) that she desires to return to him, which can be a point of erotic tension in the hotwife dynamic.
88. Beta Bucks: A derogatory term used in some hotwifing circles to describe the financial stability and emotional support provided by the hotwife’s husband, contrasting with the perceived sexual dominance and excitement of her external partners.
89. Couples’ Play Date: An arranged meeting between a hotwife and her chosen partner, with the consent and often the participation of her husband.
90. Trophy Bull: A highly desirable and sexually skilled man who is sought after by hotwives and their husbands for his ability to provide an exceptional sexual experience.
91. Cuckold Humiliation: While not always present in hotwifing, some husbands may enjoy a mild form of humiliation based on the knowledge that their wife is sexually satisfied by another man, which reinforces the hotwife dynamic.
92. Vixen: A term used to describe the hotwife herself, emphasizing her sexual allure and the exciting, sometimes taboo nature of her extramarital exploits.
93. Sexual Adventurer: A woman who embraces the hotwife lifestyle as a form of sexual exploration and freedom, often seeking new and varied experiences.
94. Erotic Empowerment: The sense of personal empowerment a hotwife may feel through embracing her sexuality and engaging in consensual non-monogamy with her partner’s support.
95. Romantic Exclusivity: Despite engaging in sexual activities with others, some hotwives and their husbands maintain a romantic exclusivity, keeping emotional bonds between external partners to a minimum.
96. Hotwife Training: The process by which a woman learns to navigate the hotwife lifestyle, often with the guidance of her husband or through community resources, to become comfortable and confident in her sexual adventures.
97. Interracial Hotwifing: Similar to interracial cuckolding, this term describes hotwifing scenarios where racial differences are a significant aspect of the fantasy or reality, often involving specific fetishization.
98. Strapon Play: In some hotwifing relationships, the husband may engage in strapon play with his wife, either as a form of role-reversal or to symbolically “give” her to other men.
99. Locked and Loaded: A phrase sometimes used by hotwives or their husbands to indicate that the wife is ready and eager to engage in a sexual encounter with another man.
100. Hotwife Etiquette: The unwritten rules and courtesies that hotwives, their husbands, and their external partners are expected to follow, such as respecting boundaries, practicing discretion, and ensuring clear communication.
101. Shared Fantasy: The mutual fantasy between a hotwife and her husband that fuels their participation in the lifestyle, often involving elements of voyeurism, exhibitionism, or dominance and submission.
102. Hotwife Confessions: Stories or communications where a hotwife details her sexual exploits to her husband or to the hotwifing community, often enhancing the erotic excitement of the lifestyle.
103. Wifesharing: A broader term that encompasses hotwifing, where a husband shares his wife with other men, either for his own pleasure, her pleasure, or as a shared experience.
104. Theatre of the Mind: The mental aspect of hotwifing, where the anticipation, fantasy, and storytelling of the wife’s encounters can be as arousing as the physical acts themselves.
105. Hotwife Date Night: A prearranged evening where the hotwife goes on a date with another man, often culminating in sexual activities, while her husband may wait at home or engage in his own activities.
106. Love Labyrinth: A term used in the hotwifing community to describe the complex emotional landscape that can arise from navigating multiple sexual relationships while maintaining a primary commitment.
107. Hotwife Envy: The feeling some men experience when they desire their partner to become a hotwife but have not yet taken steps to explore the lifestyle together.
108. Sexual Liberation: The process by which a hotwife and her husband embrace non-monogamy as a means to liberate themselves from societal norms or personal limitations regarding sexual expression and fulfillment.
109. Hotwife Journey: The ongoing personal and relational evolution that a couple experiences as they explore the hotwifing lifestyle, which often includes growth in communication, trust, and sexual boundaries.
110. Boundary Setting: The crucial process of establishing and maintaining clear and consent-driven limits and expectations within the hotwife relationship to ensure the emotional and physical well-being of all parties involved.